Kingdom saves (Almost) Extinct Species

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Doesn't this duck look so happy waddling in its natural habitat?

The Kingdom today announces that it has saved the (almost) extinct Duck de Towel from extinction. The Llaman Government introduced a captive breeding program three years ago to try and restore the ducks numbers. Today saw the first release of the bird back into the wild.

Upon its release, this duck headed straight for the pool.
Upon its release, this duck headed straight for the pool. You an see how delighted the onlookers are.

Once prevalent in the wild, their numbers have been slashed as poachers sold them to hotel chains around the world.

The Duck de Towel seen here as most people do - held captive in hotel rooms around the world
The Duck de Towel seen here as most people do – held captive in hotel rooms around the world

 

There, in the confines of the hotel room, they fell easy prey to the vicious hotel dogs known to roam the rooms.

Don't be fooled. This pooch is mean. Children should not approach.
Don’t be fooled. This pooch is mean. Children should not approach.

The Llaman Government was also eager to ensure the correct pronunciation of the Duck’s name. “It is pronounced ‘Tow'”, said the official. “The ‘l’ is dropped in keeping with the arrogant French convention, then Llamans add another layer of elitism by beating the French at their own game and dropping the ‘e’. Some will see this as a petty attempt by Llaman society to get one up on the French. But we can’t help ourselves, the French just get so pissed off!!”.

Work continues on the Llaman breeding program, with the Government trying to bring back the Dodo, the Sabre Tooth Tiger and the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The official declined to comment when asked whether the Americans had already beaten them by bring back the Dodo.

Editor’s Note: The reporter from another newspaper actually asked whether the Americans had brought back the Dodo and voted him President. We at The Times do not engage in such sniping; this sort of journalism is beneath us. Sometimes, maybe.

Further, in keeping with the Llaman convention, we shall henceforth refer to the French as the Fren. Oh, we can see the Fren’s heads exploding now. Sacre bleu! Or is it blue?

 

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