“What happened to The Times?”. In bars and backstreets around the world, this has been the question on everybody’s lips. The answer, esteemed readers, is that The Times was slapped with a Supreme Court injunction claiming the site was peddling ‘fake news’. The party making the allegation cannot be named but you can guess who it was (lets just call them Fakebook).
In a majority decision, the Supreme Court ruled in favour of The Times, finding that “…the news is real…the existence of the entity making the claim is fake”. When the party making the allegation failed to appear in court to argue their case, their right honorable learned smarty pants decided that if they can’t present themselves to the Llaman Supreme Court, then they can’t be real. That is, the party making the claim is fake. The logic is beautifully stunning. It also sets a legal precedent that The Times may use in future defense of any defamation actions.
So relax world, The Times of Llama is back online and back publishing the truth. Or stuff that could be the truth. If it were true.
Editor’s Note: The Supreme Court decision was actually announced before Christmas. It has taken us this long to get our journalists to return to work and sober up sufficiently to write something intelligent. They are journalists after all.