The Kingdom of Llama today announced that they will begin negotiations with Liberty Media about hosting a Formula One race in Redondo in 2017. “We have everything needed for a race”, said the Tourism Minister, “We have the glamour, the glitz and the girls. The nightlife in Redondo is world famous. With our geographic location, we have the ideal time-slot for live media of the race in both the southern and northern hemisphere”.
Ticket sales have already commenced despite there being no confirmation by the owners that Llama will actually be awarded a race on what is a packed Formula One agenda. “No problem”, said the Tourism Minister, “We will simply hold the pre-race and post-race parties anyway”.
There does appear to be one small hurdle in the way of Llama being awarded a race; there is no racing track in Redondo. When questioned about this flaw in the Government’s plan, the Tourism Minister said “Look, the actual race itself is a costly distraction and very noisy. Everybody knows the real event is the parties, and we are world-class in that event”.
When questioned further on the track, the Minister said “Seriously, do not concern yourself with the construction of the track. We will host an international tender. It will be won by an international construction firm operating through a off-shore tax haven. Around the same time, I shall win the lottery and build myself a new house after taking an extended overseas vacation. The construction of the track will be late and over-budget and subject to arbitration proceedings for the next 10 years. Without a track, we will put 25 video games in a room for the drivers. The benefit with this is we can change the track to any Formula One venue in the world. The Llaman Government can also today confirm that the drivers will not have to find their own coins to operate the games, we will be donating that too”.
“Don’t be disappointed, book now”, said the Minister, “Be early or miss out on the fun”.