Upon his return from the World Economic Forum in Davos, the King was forced to defend the benefit of attending the annual gathering of the global elite.
Reporters reminded the King of his previous comments regarding the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change as an excuse to go to resorts for paid holidays. “How is your attendance at Davos any different”, a reporter challenged. “This is completely different”, said the King, “For a start, the conference is held in a ski-resort, not a beach resort. You should do more homework before asking such silly questions”.
The King, who gave the Keynote Speech at the conference titled “How global income inequality increases global wealth – Why the fact that 8 men own more than 50% of the global wealth is great for the global poor”, said Davos brought together the best minds in business, banking, economics and international tax avoidance to help drive the global economy for the benefit of all. “Globalization and free trade have, without doubt, been for the betterment of all”, he said, “As Joseph Stiglitz, the former Chief Economist of the World Bank and a Nobel Prize winner has clearly stated “…median household income (in the US), adjusted for inflation, is today … 1 percent higher than it was in 1989″… 1 percent … I mean, what more evidence do you need?”.
“The policy ideas that have successfully pulled the global economy out of the mire of the 2008 Global Financial Crisis originated and were debated at the Forum. The implementation of those policies in Europe, particularly in Greece and Spain, has been a resounding success for European bankers and that is a good thing for everybody…particularly those bankers in Switzerland”, he said.
The King also denied rumours that there was a party in his hotel at the close of the Forum that got a little out of hand. “We invited some attendees at the conference to join us for a post-conference celebration. I can assure you there were no refrigerators thrown from any hotel window at 3.00am in the morning as claimed. A television may have accidentally been knocked off the balcony, but nothing else. And Keith Richards was not playing blues until the sun came up. He actually spent the whole night screaming drunken slurs at Mick Jagger. But I will say those guys from the Illamanati played very hard”, he said.
When asked if he would be attending next year’s event, he replied “Absolutely, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Although I may ask them to move it to somewhere a little warmer”.
Editor’s Note: Llaman police are searching for the reporter who quizzed the King upon his return. He has not turned up for work nor used his credit cards.