It is no secret that we at the The Times of Llama do not agree with all President Trump’s policies. And with bilateral relations between the USA and the Kingdom of Llama at an all time low, we would be justified in joining the mainstream media in condemning President Trump’s attacks on the media.
But on this policy we agree. Fake news must stop. The use of the internet to create fake news sites populated with stories that are not true are a fundamental threat to civilization. It must be stopped before the world ends. Or gets distracted. As our readers are well aware, we at The Times are committed to the highest standards of journalism. We print the truth and only the truth. Or what could be the truth. If it were true.
“The dishonest media, which has published one false story after another, with no sources, even though they pretend they have them — they make them up in many cases, they just don’t want to report the truth and they have been calling us wrong now for two years — they don’t get it, but they are starting to get it,” Trump said at a recent rally in Florida.
We agree. Our sources in the White House, which must remain anonymous to protect our access to future rumor and innuendo, confirm that President Trump is currently considering wide ranging restrictions on the freedom of the press. Senator John McCain has tweeted that ‘this is how dictators get started’. We say one man’s dictatorship is another man’s plutocracy…or a group of men for a plutocracy…otherwise it would be a dictatorship… why aren’t women included in these definitions?…they do get a little dictatorial when we haven’t done something we are supposed to. But we digress.
Where we do disagree with President Trump is linking the current poor standards of journalism to the idea that it is somehow a fundamental platform of democracy. We at The Times suspect this may be overstating the case. Who really believes all this fake news anyway? It certainly inflates the already inflated egos of the media personalities, who love the idea of quoting Jefferson’s views on media to make them look smart.
So don’t be fooled readers. Fake news must stop or we risk the end of the world as we know it. Or until Llamageddon. After that, it won’t really matter.