Readers of The Times, can you believe it? Look at what’s happening last night in America. America. Who would believe this? America. They are having problems like they never thought possible.
That is what you get when you stop bemoaning the existence of fake news and become the source of fake news yourself. We here at The Times hold ourselves to the highest standards of journalistic integrity at all times. We publish the truth and only the truth. Or what could be the truth. If it were true.
We have stated previously that we believe the creation and distribution of fake news is a threat to modern democracy and civilization, and any other big important sounding words you can think of. Let us be clear on this point readers, fake news is a threat to life on this planet. It is that serious.
So things are getting very serious when the President of the United States gets in on the act and starts creating and distributing his own fake news content. Never before in modern history has a President of the United Stated brought the world so close to its own end, its own destruction. Nuclear weapons, the Cold War, the Cuban Crisis, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and Microsoft are nothing compared to the situation we find ourselves in today.
Where will voters get the sort of information they need to make the right decision when nobody can trust the news? When the President himself creates fake news? And the evil mainstream media distribute it? This will undermine the business model of those institutions creating and distributing genuine news content, reinforcing the role of the fourth estate in our democracy. Institutions like us. Those irresponsible, fringe-dwelling members of the fifth estate, the primary purveyor of fake news, have a lot to answer for.
Our readers can be sure that The Times of Llama will continue its long history of being a news source you can rely upon.
Editor’s Note: Shortly after the publication of this article, we were contacted by the US State Department. They denied any knowledge of a terrorist event in America last night and asked: “What are you guys smoking?”.