Stephen Colbert Banned from Entering Country

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Is this guy a threat to democracy or a victim of government censorship?

Controversial American reporter and social commentator, Stephen Colbert, has been banned by the President from entering the Kingdom of Llama.

In a continuing theme of the President attacking those who generate fake news, he cited Mr. Colbert’s history of getting his facts incorrect, which he then used to draw conclusions about the state of the nation that disagreed with the President’s views. “He takes what I have said and misrepresents the meaning of what I said. Because I have said it, it is right, but he makes what I have said wrong. I have said this many times”.

He then went on to say “Fact check him. I have, many times. His facts are nothing like my facts, which are facts. His facts are unfacts…or nonfacts…there just lies, okay”.

A clearly confused reporter then asked the President “Sorry Mr President, but isn’t Stephen Colbert a comedian?”. “I completely agree with you…”, he said, “…the guy is a joke. Really, what has he ever done for this country? He has made a living out of lying and misrepresenting the way things are in this great nation. There is nothing funny about him or what he says. We Llamans will not put up with it. Hence, I acted to ban Mr. Colbert from coming to this country”.

When questioned further, the President also confirmed that he would not allow social anarchist, Jon Stewart, to enter the country either.

And this is another guy who is not very funny. If he was, he would have his own comedy show. You know I am right on this.
And this is another guy who is not very funny. If he was, he would have his own comedy show. You know I am right on this.

Our Times reporter then asked whether the denial of entry was a restriction on free speech and a form of censorship. “I will not answer such stupid questions”, he said. He then instructed his media officer to cancel The Times media accreditation and had the reporter removed from the press conference.

Editor’s Note: We have since repaired our relationship with the President and our media accreditation has been returned. In an unrelated event, The Times has begun promoting the Presidents daughter’s range of clothing and accessories. You should take a look. They are really good. Really. 

 

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